TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
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you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
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Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex