you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
Dude. She just shit herself.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You've changed since you got that strap on