so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night