I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
