Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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