sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
