I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
