So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
