Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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