She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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