and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
