I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wish i was in the wii world.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
