Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize