So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
no you cant smoke seaweed
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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