Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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