I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
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