you guys were way drunker than both of me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
