i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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