and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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