i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
