They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
