how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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