um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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