She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
