We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
BRING THE BAGELS
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
