id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
