I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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