I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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