Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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