yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
