Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
