I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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