It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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