i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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