are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
