Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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