obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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