he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize