We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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