My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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