New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
