A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
ttyl tear gas
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
