He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
