Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
