I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize