That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
