I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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