Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
