If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize