um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
