I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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