just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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