Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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