First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
