I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize