So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
How's work?
Spinning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
