I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
