My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
