can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
