My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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