We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
