like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
