Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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