I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
