sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
