im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
