I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
