i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I have already put on my inside pants.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
