I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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