shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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