I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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