I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize